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by orphan_account



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-28
Updated: 2013-08-28
Packaged: 2017-12-24 22:38:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/945483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard's and Kaidan's first time together post-war.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>~Naked and vulnerable, sharing their unwavering faith in each other, and she has never felt this exposed to anyone but him, shifting to wrap her legs around his waist to force him closer, force him more into her because Shepard wants to feel everything of him, to tunnel into him and never leave~</p>
            </blockquote>





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**Author's Note:**

> **non-explicit sexual content

 

It’s their first time together after months, months of Shepard piecing together her fractured mind, recovering her body slowly from sitting up, to standing, to finally moving. Months of Shepard communicating with Kaidan over scratchy and broken static, his blurry face spinning and breaking on her omni-tool like a drug induced vision she cannot focus on, as the _Normandy_ , barely holding together at her seams, limps back to Earth once the important, high traffic mass relays are fixed. Months of separation and worry finally at an end, no more hanging onto dribbles of news of their partners trickling through overtaxed frequencies, no more piggybacking signals, fighting with aliens of all races desperate for information about their loved ones. Where their reunion takes place earlier that day in a sanitary, narrow corridor; with Shepard hobbling along with her cane on one good leg, and Kaidan, looking wild and crazed like he has been trapped in a cave all this time, tripping over his own feet in his haste to get to her, almost falling over to the floor. Months of being apart at last coming to an end as Shepard’s partner paws at her frantically, hands moving over her face to shoulders to waist, tracking her with berserk eyes rapidly from head to toe, sentences tumbling out of his mouth even more jumbled than usual that Shepard can’t even get out a witty remark about his new, full beard racing across his gaunt cheeks, which is a shame, since she has been working on that line for quite some time.

They stand in their temporary beat up apartment on the outskirts of London, small bags dropped to the floor because it’s not important, their attention on each other instead. There is no ceremony this time; no cheeky smirks or sly retorts from either of them, neither one with a raised eyebrow or a smart innuendo to throw out, neither one teasing the other with their biotics as they usually did. Shepard’s nose brushes Kaidan’s, their fingertips caressing in the dark as Kaidan walks the both of them towards the bed, easing her down onto the soft landing while supporting her back, making sure never to break their close proximity to be apart now that they’re together again. There is a silent request from the man in the air –  _Let me_  - , and Shepard grants it, an almost whisper in the night –  _Okay_.

Kaidan’s typical steady hands tremble ever so slightly as he moves them over her body; picking apart buttons, his breaths coming fast and shallow as he struggles not to rush ahead of himself, while Shepard does the same for him. Zippers smoothly brought down, belts looping out of their buckles, laces untied, boots and socks shrugged off with a tender eagerness. Their clothes slither away soon enough, shaky hands on warm skin touching everywhere they can as they drink each other in like it’s the first time they’re seeing the other in this state, distant memories still as bright as ever. As new and beautiful as their night before Ilos; Shepard, flat on her back, with Kaidan looming above her, eyes locked onto hers, burning with a thousand, unsaid words.

They’re both different now, because Kaidan’s fingers are rougher and slightly blackened around the edges from burns and overheated weapons, never getting the chance to heal fully as the Major threw himself into his duty. His body is larger and heavier, while Shepard’s is the direct opposite; her collar bones more visible than ever, her rib cage protruding as she lies underneath him, lips parted and breathing in the same air of her partner she wants to suffocate in till her death. So different than their first time, but Kaidan still trails those callused fingers over her body with the same sweetness, roaming over the fine hairs on her thighs, tracing the shape of her hip bones as he settles himself inbetween her spread legs. Shepard brings her own hands up to his chest, pressing flat against the centre, missing the familiarity of his beating heart thudding away for her, the kind heart which thuds endlessly to envelop her for years. She kneads his skin there and feels his muscles clench, feels the fur on his chest tickling her knuckles while her palms slide up and down his torso, thumbs brushing his nipples and pinching them to listen to the sounds he makes deep in his throat when his lids flutter.

Shepard has missed this so much, missed being together in the black, clutching each other, dragging lazy tongues and scraping gentle teeth like a ritual to explore and map planes of bodies. She missed listening to Kaidan releasing choked gasps because of her, his jaw hanging, quivering and moaning as they both take turns and swap places to love unconditionally, missed travelling a wandering hand past the dark hair on his navel, trailing along further to stroke his cock, having him stutter and convulse above her, his mouth gaping open as he swallows nothing while she lies there grinning at him, her hand massaging and squeezing him idly the way he enjoys. Kaidan, as always, is considerate and generous, moves his worshipping lips downwards slowly from her neck to her breasts, to her abdomen, kissing everywhere until Shepard quakes, fingers curling into the black hair on his head to grip tightly while his tongue swipes and prods around her cunt, teasing and working inbetween her folds, circling around her clit. He noses her, inhales and kisses her sex with sentiment, swirling around Shepard, taking pleasure in listening to her soft cries he manages to wring when he sucks on her, strong hands holding her hips down when prodding that talented tongue of his inside her, licking against sensitive, silky walls. The thrill seeps into Shepard’s bones as she arches her spine, droopy eyelids and heavy panting as the emotions for the man beneath her overwhelms her senses enough she careens past the edge, sight foggy and body floating with one person to anchor her back to solid ground, the only person she trusts to do it for her. Shepard shivers as the cool air ghosts her sweaty skin while she lies there taking deep breaths, her throat bared as her eyes roll backwards, chest heaving and fingers still hanging onto Kaidan’s hair, not letting go.

When he crawls back up, hard cock pressing and grounding against her inner thigh, Shepard tastes herself on his lips when she drags him down for a kiss, rubs her face across his soft beard and runs the pads of her index fingers along the veins of his biceps, memorising the curves and bob of his throat, his rumpled hair flushed to his forehead. Shepard memorises his breathy sigh when he finally enters her, careful and reassuring as the man he is despite his obvious need, and there’s no pain even through her extensive injuries, no lingering hurt, for Shepard is as relaxed with Kaidan as she can be. Naked and vulnerable, sharing their unwavering faith in each other, and she has never felt this exposed to anyone but him, shifting to wrap her legs around his waist to force him closer, force him more into her because Shepard wants to feel everything of him, to tunnel into him and never leave. She can feel him inside when she clamps down on his cock, drawing rich moans while his lips are glued to the hollow of her neck, suckling lightly on her pulse. Their foreheads merge, and they simply gaze at each other, drowning in the same breath, liquid passion in their irises as their skins fuse, hot and slick, both so loyal and stubborn they wouldn’t have it any other way, near desperate whimpers almost staggering past them out into the open as he moves.

Kaidan holds her face in his hands delicately like she’s a glass cannon, but Shepard’s brief wave of irritation at that passes once she takes in his glittering brown orbs in the faint light, and that irritation morphs into blunt unease, because he’s actually a step away from crying. Soulful, looking at her like he’s a starving man in pure need of the affection, his eyes shimmery with unshed tears and transfixed on her own, afraid of looking away for fear of Shepard just being a figment of his imagination that he has dreamed for so long, that Shepard would just vanish into thin air, the light honey in his eyes which betrays Kaidan’s emotions bubbling under the surface as he attempts to close a lid down on them, making Shepard’s heart clench for him and hold him only tighter, squishing their noses together to reassure him that she’s as real in the night as her warm breath washing over his face. Kaidan runs the back of his fingers almost venerably over Shepard’s new scars; the large, crescent shaped one below her right eye, a short one across the bridge of her nose, another smaller one cutting through her left eyebrow. All collectibles from their devastating war, but at the same time, a reminder of how lucky she is to be alive, to have her partner’s tongue trace the features like a sacred custom as they lie tangled in bed, while others might never have gotten the same chance to be in the arms of their loved ones again, for which Shepard doesn’t care about at the moment, because she has the person who means the most to her in the entire galaxy safe in her bed.

Their lips meet again for the umpteenth time that night; deep and slow kisses, matching Kaidan’s thrusts into her, and Shepard’s right hand cups around his scarred amp port, pressing him to her, feeling the damp hair on the nape of his neck, the twitch of his muscles as he works, keeping their bodies in tandem and breaths in sync, with Shepard working as much as her damaged back allows. He shows admirable restraint and control, setting a languid and steady pace to prolong their intimacy as long as he can before coming undone, moving over her and never breaking eye contact, falling into each other over and over again just like they did on the first _Normandy_. Torrential waves crashing against the shore, carrying with it not only desire and lust, but infinite devotion seeping out into the air and weaving through their joint auras, locking them inside each other in ways they cannot pull away from. Kaidan’s hands graces her neck, her shoulders, supporting himself on an elbow while his right trails down her arm to grasp Shepard’s left, and then their fingers are lacing together tight enough for Shepard to feel the throbbing of their blood running beneath skin, palms slippery with sweat and gripping hard, feeling the fragile finger bones under the thin flesh as their blood pulses as one in her ears.

When Kaidan comes, it’s Shepard’s name that filters pass his lips as he shatters, burrowing his face into her neck, whiskers of his beard tickling her flaming skin while he shakes, and she can feel the wetness leaking out of his eyes sliding down her neck as much as he tried to reel them back. Shepard blinks away her own moisture around the edges of her eyes and pushes away the brief twang of guilt for giving up, of preparing to die bleeding out on the Citadel when it became too much, for almost missing out on  _her_  Kaidan and their promises. But they cling to each other now, moist breath hot and constant against the other’s cheeks, pleasant buzzing in her head as her vision swims again, and Shepard swears by her partner, on his very being, swears to always claw her way back to him however possible because she’s so selfish when it comes to Kaidan, in manners she will never tell him, feelings overflowing her lanky frame as her arms encircle his body protectively.

There are no words in the aftermath when they shift to face each other lying on their sides, satisfied smiles blooming across their tired faces where they simply gaze in silence, almost unbelieving of how fortunate they are. Shepard’s thumb brushes away the tracks of Kaidan’s tears before kissing them, strokes the back of her hand across his bearded cheek, revelling in the fluffiness, and Kaidan’s quirked eyebrow poses a mute question –  _You like it?_  The twist of Shepard’s lips is answer enough for him –  _Yes_  – she screams in quiet, as he stares back at her sleepily, so painfully in love with her beyond anything he has ever experienced in his life. They had never needed words before; breezing along on the same wavelength, communicating on the battle field with hand signals or the mere jerk of a head, and they do not need words now, too. Deep rumbles and content hums, pressed flush from their chests all the way to their intertwined legs, outward arms thrown across each other’s waists as their foreheads graze mildly. Kaidan leans back to smooth Shepard’s fringe off to the side, playing with her short hair, dipping to her face as he skims her cheekbones, and Shepard melts in the embrace, sheltered in his presence, her heart skittering at the peaceful look on her partner’s face stretched out in pure adoration and wonder, seeing her entire life reflected back in his immeasurable warmth. In the smattering of freckles over his thick eyebrows, in the dimpled scars on his right cheek and the white ones cutting through his lips, in the moles peppering his shoulder blades and the streaks of grey and silver in his hair, so beautiful and perfect in her eyes she cannot express how much he means to her even if she tries.

Shepard knows this is home and that she is fortuitous, for she needs no words to roll off her tongue, no words to convey a  _sorry_ , a  _thank you_ , or a _I love you_ , because their minds are married, blessed enough to take cues from their actions alone, and she knows Kaidan feels the same. He has constantly said that he’s the luckiest man alive, to be able to cherish and love her, but Shepard knows that this isn’t true, because it’s she who is the one somehow lucky enough to cherish and love him.

 

-

 


End file.
